A Letter to William on a low day

Dear William,

When I was soothing your little brother to sleep this afternoon, it reminded me of some of the hard times you’ve had lately.

Sammy did not want to sleep. At all. He did his absolute worst to make sure I knew how displeased he was with the arrangement. He kicked and flailed. He screamed and tried to throw himself on the floor until he was sweaty, unsuccessful, and ultimately, asleep.

Now, I know that when you lose your cool, it’s for different reasons. Your meltdowns are not so juvenile–your frustrations are bigger and different from what neurotypical people suffer, but I realized a commonality in the best response to both.

Stillness. Peace and love.

Because sometimes, human beings big and small can’t make sense of the world–what they want versus what they’re getting. We become convinced that peacefulness doesn’t exist. And as your guide in this world, my highest desire is to imitate Christ in how he shows love. Especially when your world is a wreck.

So I invite you: if you must do your worst, do. I won’t leave.

If you must kick, I will rock you and sing to you.

If you must scream until you’re sweaty, I will blow cool air on your brow.

If you must try to get yourself hurt, I am not scared. My arms are strong enough to hold you.

If you want to be alone to achieve your own peace, I will step outside and pray for you.

When you can’t entertain it, I will be your peaceful place so that you can see that it’s there, and so that you can know the place that I find it–in Christ alone.

I love you. Even when you feel your worst.

Yours,

Mommy

 

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Alban says:

    God inspired words. Thank you for sharing them.

    Like

    1. mauraoprisko says:

      Thank you! Very kind 🙂

      Like

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