Two more days until the New Year, folks. And then we’ve got some fun, exciting stuff coming.
So for the next two days, we’ll count it down with the last two things I would tell myself at this time last year that would have been life-changing in the way of making me a stronger parent to my child with autism.
Yesterday, we talked about recognizing that love is imperfect, and how it only benefits us to recognize and appreciate the intention, even if the action falls short.
Today, I share with you THE thing I wish I could apply to every single past moment of my life:
#2: Your faith enables your life
I have this cool trick. I bet you have it, too.
I can list 23 things that I do every day that exhaust me, and I can list them without taking a breath. If I take a breath, I can list 45. If I stop to think about it, I can list 81.
I feel like I’m not the only one who can say this.
And I’m embarrassed about it, but Past Maura, you’ve got something on that list that doesn’t belong.
For all those times you have glanced at the icons and said to yourself “I’m too tired,” or “I can’t put this down, are you crazy?!” I want you to say this with me:
My life does not support my ability to spend time in prayer. My time spent in prayer supports my ability to live.
I have spoken to my priest about this many times, and in lots of different ways.
I’m too angry to pray.
I’m too busy to pray.
I’m too tired to pray.
I’m too stressed to pray.
And every time, he has encouraged me to pray just a little (because consistency matters more than quantity) and to pray honestly (because it’s better to stay connected to Christ than not).
Oh, if only I could, right?
I know you’ve felt defeated already, every time you approach Him. I know it turns you away. Don’t let it. Those thoughts are not from God.
St. John of Kronstadt nails it:
“Do not spare yourself from heartfelt prayer even when you have spent the whole day in hard work. Do not indulge in laziness when you pray; tell God everything that is in your heart. If you allow yourself time to pray with diligence, you will not fall asleep before you have wept over your sins. Believe that, if for the sake of bodily rest you pray hurriedly, you will lose the tranquility of both body and soul. By what labor, sweat and tears is our closeness to God achieved!”
So don’t think you are too spent to pray.
God will restore you. Always.