Thanks for dropping by again today!
We’re at #3 in our countdown to a special birthday celebration for The Least of These, where I’m counting down the five things every autism parent needs to know—things I would totally go back to NYD 2015 and tell myself.
We’ve covered #5: Get thyself to a counselor, and #4: You are not alone. Today, we talk about:
#3: Love is imperfect
Unless it’s Christ we’re talking about here (and many times I am…just not this time), the love we can expect to receive and the love we give is never perfect.
But, Past Maura, I’ll tell you what. It’s what you’ve got. And it ain’t bad.
When your family feels like a circus in the middle of a Victorian tea party, you might feel irritated when others try to support you but say the wrong thing, or guess your child’s needs wrong.
Hear their intention, because their intention is deep and true and sometimes even desperate to help your hurt.
I read a lot (like a lot) of angry pieces by special needs parents. And actually, I get it. I used to write them. The amount of injustice and cruelty in the world nauseates me and I have a hard time staying sane when I consider what his world will be like when he’s a teenager. But.
Cutting people out, ranting angrily at anyone who will listen, and telling people off because they should know better does nothing to promote understanding. And understanding is the thing you need to be after, Past Maura. Not winning. Not looking like the smartest, most progressively-minded person in the room.
All that accomplishes is a slap to the face of someone who’s trying to love you and your child.
Discussion and understanding may come someday. Until then, take a deep breath and allow yourself and your kiddo to be loved imperfectly. Love is imperfect–all of it coming in, and all of it going out, too.