Caring for each other when your child has autism: 6 Ideas on marriage from the saints (Part 3)

You brave soul. Today, we talk about humility in marriage.

Marriage part three

3. Humble yourself.

**Sidebar: The following is not applicable to situations involving abuse, adultery, or addictions and mental conditions left unattended.**

First, to avoid any feather-ruffling, let’s define what it means to humble oneself (or, as some put it, to “deny” oneself). St. Innocent of Alaska says this:

“To deny oneself means to give up one’s bad habits; to root out of the heart all that ties us to the world; not to cherish bad thoughts or desires; to suppress every evil thought; not to desire to do anything out of self-love, but to do everything out of love for God.”

That sounds a lot like, well…good marital advice. Don’t entertain bad thoughts about your spouse; don’t compose angry speeches while you drive alone. They poison your attitude, sour your face.

But what about my husband/wife? Yeah. About that.

Thing is, we’re all pretty bad. Your husband might have been dead nasty to you this morning. Your wife might be appallingly neglectful of your feelings. That’s true. None of this is to diminish those wrongs that may break your heart.

But what the saints, and what God himself urge us to do is to concentrate on what’s within.

“He who busies himself with the sins of others, or judges his brother on suspicion, has not yet even begun to repent or examine himself so as to discover his own sins…” St. Maximos the Confessor

“Fire and water do not mix; neither can you mix judgment of others with the desire to repent.” St. John Climacus

“Do not be irritated either with those who sin or those who offend; do not have a passion for noticing every sin in your neighbor, and for judging him, as we are in the habit of doing. Everyone shall give an answer to God himself…Correct your own sins; amend your own life.” St. John of Kronstadt

“’Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” Matthew 7:1-3

As always, blessings. And I hope you come back tomorrow for Day #4: Prayer.


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