Caring for each other when your child has autism: 6 Ideas on marriage from the saints (Part 2)

Welcome back! It’s Day #2 of my six-day series. Today, in our discussion of marriage and autism, I shall point you to church.

Marriage part two

2. Take comfort, as a couple, in our great cloud of witnesses. 

So, your marriage has a better-than-20% chance of survival, but it doesn’t mean there isn’t stress in autism. Here’s a small, non-comprehensive list of autism topics my husband and I regularly discuss. And might I add here: these are just the things my husband and I agree on…

  • William’s method, course, and facilitators of treatment
  • Paying for treatment, which, for many people, is between $20,000-$40,000/year.
  • What states we’re willing to live in, which have voted on legislation mandating sufficient autism treatment coverage
  • Behavior plan at home
  • Where William will continue treatment when he moves on from his current treatment center

That’s a lot of opportunity for a marital argument. Promise. And there’s more where that came from.

The two studies I read and the articles that mentioned them all seemed to agree on one thing: families need support. And in church, what do we have, if not a community to support us?

There were many times that our parish pulled us back from the brink during that year. I’m not saying they always knew it, but every time we went to church, we were lovingly pointed back to Christ, back to living a life of holiness. That’s what the Church is for. We exist for one another, to encourage each other to live lives of love and humility and peace—that is, holiness.

And, thankfully, when we don’t have church, God has given us the lives of the saints. We have zillions of examples of what it looks like to live in harmony with our families, in the face of tremendous hardship. If you don’t know where to start, go to the Orthodox Church in America’s website (that link is the “lives of the saints” page) where you can leaf through, as interest leads you, to remarkable men and women who continually pointed to Christ with their lives–not in grotesque, obnoxious ways, but in ways that are brave and inspiring and humbling and beautiful.

So we can go…OH. That’s how you do it.

Come back tomorrow for Day #3–Humility.



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